Too Busy to Notice Me
by Lerissa Angelbane
Summary: "I saw that ginger-and-white she-cat gathering herbs by the stream. She looked busy-too busy to notice me." Based on Barkface's comment in Sunset. One-shot. (Old, moved from old account)


**Old story, written before ****_Tallstar's Revenge_**** came out, which is why Barkface's mother's name was randomly chosen, so yes I do know his mother's name was Brackenwing, I just don't feel like changing this.**

Barkface watched Brightheart gathering herbs. The ginger-and-white she-cat's brow was furrowed and Barkface longed to ask her what was worrying her, but the code of the medicine cats was the only thing that kept him from hopping the stream.

Most cats would flinch in the presence of pale pink skin where fluffy white fur should be or her shredded ear, but Barkface was used to such things as a medicine cat and he hardly noticed them now.

"Hello, Barkface!" A high-pitched voice squeaked. Barkface whirled around, feeling guilty, and was surprised to see young Kestrelkit waggling his tail happily. "Guess what, Barkface! I followed you all the way from camp and you never even noticed!" Barkface shook his head.

"Kestrelkit, your mother will be worried about you." Kestrelkit scowled and stared down at the ground.

"No she won't! She only notices Harekit!"

"That's not true, Kestrelkit; you'll see." Kestrelkit kept scowling but allowed Barkface to lead him back to camp.

"Kestrelkit!" Whitetail cried when she saw her lost son. "Where were you? Are you all right? I was so worried!" Barkface gave Kestrelkit a look. Kestrelkit let out a sigh and began to explain. Onestar had returned with a patrol and beckoned Barkface over.

"What happened?" He asked. Barkface explained in a low tone; leaving out how he had sort-of encountered Brightheart and instead said he'd been gathering herbs near the stream simply. Onestar gave him a quizzical glance.

"Well, where are the herbs?" Barkface froze.

"I-I couldn't take them back because Kestrelkit interrupted me." He said, thinking quickly.

"Oh." Onestar said. "Well do you need a warrior to go with you?" Barkface started to shake his head, but Onestar beckoned over a warrior anyway. "Crowfeather, over here!" Crowfeather, who had been speaking briefly with Nightcloud, padded over.

"Yes?" He asked, glancing nervously from leader to medicine cat.

"Barkface needs your help to carry herbs." Crowfeather shrugged.

"Okay, let's get on with it then." Barkface led the way to the ThunderClan border and was disappointed to find Brightheart had left.

"Okay, where are the herbs?"

"R-right here." Barkface stammered, picking his way down to where the Catmint grew. He began to delicately pick the stems and when he thought he had enough, he divided the clump into two bundles and called to Crowfeather, who had been gazing across the border. Crowfeather jumped and turned around, his tail bushed out.

"Wh-what?"

"I'm ready to go." Crowfeather frowned.

"I know why you and Onestar arranged this."

"What are you talking about, Crowfeather?"

"You're testing my loyalty to WindClan by bringing me down here. I'm loyal now! In-in fact Nightcloud is my new mate!" Barkface gaped.

"Onestar and I didn't arrange this, Crowfeather." Crowfeather backed off, looking stunned.

"What?"

"It was just a coincidence." Barkface tried to look the smoky black tom in the eyes, but Crowfeather studied his paws and scooped the Catmint up in his mouth, giving him the perfect excuse not to reply. Letting out a small sigh, Barkface let out a small sigh and took his own bundle. The brown tom led the way back to camp.

Crowfeather practically tossed the herbs on the floor before hurrying out of the medicine cat's den and into the clearing. Nightcloud was nearby and she walked up to Crowfeather, attempting to brush her muzzle against his. Crowfeather let her, but his blue eyes were clouded over as he was thinking of something else.

_I know just how you feel._ Barkface thought despairingly and began to rest up for the journey to the half-moon.

After the journey to the Moonpool, Barkface came back and collapsed in his nest, disappointed. He was ashamed to admit that now that Cinderpelt was dead, the short-tailed tom was hoping Brightheart would be apprenticed as a medicine cat. Barkface had mentioned seeing Brightheart gathering herbs to Leafpool, but the ThunderClan medicine cat hadn't said anything about Brightheart becoming a medicine cat; only that she'd been a big help. Barkface buried his head in his nest. _Perhaps at the next gathering?_ Barkface clung on to that last thought as he waded into sleep.

Half a moon later, Barkface was ready for the Gathering and full of hope. He set off to the gathering, determined to find _something_ out about Brightheart. He wished Onestar would up the pace, but the mottled tom padded on steadily ahead, Ashfoot at his side. Crowfeather trudged behind them, his head and tail down.

The dark warrior's demeanor puzzled Barkface; after Nightcloud had announced she was moving to the nursery expecting his kits, their Clanmates had seemed to accept Crowfeather. Barkface shook his head to clear his thoughts and instead concentrated on how close the island was getting.

Finally—_finally—_when they reached the island, Barkface spotted Brightheart's ginger-and-white pelt. His pawsteps light, the brown tom hurried over, his short tail high in the air.

Brightheart turned around to face Barkface and her one blue eye filled with joy. Barkface felt his heart swell.

"Look, Brightheart, there is something I want to tell you…" He began, but he was silenced by a louder voice.

"Brightheart!" A snowy white tom marched over, his fluffy white tail twitching. "There you are! I went to check on Whitepaw and you were gone." Brightheart let out a soft purr and rubbed her muzzle along his jaw.

"I'm sorry if I scared you." She said in her quiet, intelligent voice. "I just wanted to greet Tawnypelt is all. I hope you're not mad." The white tom—Cloudtail—'s neck fur began to go flat.

"Mouse-brain." He said affectionately, swiping her playfully. "How could I ever be mad with you?" Brightheart let out a loving purr and twined her tail with his. Barkface looked on, his eyes wide and his heart broken. Barkface backed away quietly as Cloudtail licked his mate's ears. _No_! He thought. _Of course she has a mate, rabbit-brain_! He told himself. Barkface shook his head and hurried to the log and raced across it, slipping and tearing a claw in the process. The WindClan medicine cat hardly noticed; his heart hurt too much.

Barkface ran until his paws ached so much that his pads tore. He ran until his lungs screamed for air. He ran until he splashed into the cool water of the Moonpool.

"No!" He yowled to the sky. "Oh StarClan, why? It hurts so much!" Barkface stared at the stars a moment longer as they would give him an answer. He let his head fall and his body collapse.

"_Barkface_." The brown tom looked up and leapt to his paws when he saw the starry silhouette of a she-cat. "_Barkface, why do you weep_?"

"Because." Barkface said, not caring if he poured out his heart to a random StarClan warrior. "I love Brightheart but she doesn't love me." The starry she-cat shook her head so that small bits of silver fell off and dissolved.

"_Barkface, you took an oath as a medicine cat not to love another cat_."

"I know what I was doing, but I didn't know it would be so hard!" Barkface wailed. "And know I'm confessing everything to a cat I've never met before." The starry she-cat sighed.

"_Barkface, I'm no ordinary StarClan cat to you; I am your mother, Lilystep._" Barkface barely registered these words he was so heart-stricken.

"Bu-bu-but that doesn't change anything!" He went on.

"I know and I'm sorry things couldn't have been different." Lilystep said, momentarily bowing her head. "But Barkface, just _think_ how things would have been; you are in different Clans _and_ you're a medicine cat…sound familiar?" Barkface looked up, stung.

"Well, well yes." He admitted. "It sounds just like Crowfeather and Leafpool." Lilystep dipped her head.

"Barkface, I'm sorry for your loss, but when you have nothing left focus on your Clan. That's what Leafpool does, isn't it?" Barkface nodded, thinking how miserable Leafpool must be; her mentor was dead and she had given up Crowfeather. All that was left was duty; pure and simple.

"What does StarClan think of all this?" Barkface asked, trying to recover himself.

"They don't know aside from myself." Lilystep replied. "And I won't tell them as long as you don't pursue this." Barkface nodded solemnly, trying to pull himself together.

"I will try." He vowed. _And I'll be a good friend to Leafpool_. He promised himself. _Now-now that I know what she's going through_. Lilystep stretched her head out and rested her muzzle on his head.

"That's my boy." She purred. Barkface stepped back and opened his mouth to ask her something, but Lilystep was already fading away.

"Wait!" Barkface gasped. "There are still things I want to ask you!" Lilystep shook her head, blue eyes twinkling.

"Don't worry, Barkface; we'll meet again, my son." Barkface watched with loss as his mother faded away and he was alone. Suddenly feeling his age, the brown tom curled up and prepared to sleep by the Moonpool. _Goodbye, Lilystep_. _I know we'll walk again in StarClan. It would be my pleasure to walk along beside you_.


End file.
